This is no time for half-measures. A serious seafood platter doesn't necessarily call for vast variety (oysters, prawns and smoked salmon alone, for instance, can be pretty impressive in the right quantities), but demands generosity. And that goes double for the wine both in terms of volume and quality. Extend that generosity to the supply of finger bowls and hand towels to let your guests know you really care.
1. The lobster
Live lobsters don't store well at home, so either cook the lobster the day you buy it and remove the meat from the shell, or buy a lobster that has been cooked and frozen at sea, and thaw it yourself overnight in the fridge. Chop the meat for ease of serving before you plate it.
2. The crab
Lobster might be a byword for luxury, but for the true roll-up-the-sleeves seafood platter experience, boiled crab is where it's at. Buy your blue swimmers cooked (they don't store well raw) or your mud crabs live. Crackers and seafood picks are a must. A bowl of drawn (aka melted) butter is always welcome anywhere cooked crabs are offered.
3. The sauce
Marie Rose sauce (the sauce for prawn cocktails) plays well with crustaceans of all kinds. The cheat's version is simply a mix of mayonnaise and tomato ketchup. Pass a bottle of Tabasco or another hot sauce at the table for extra points.
4. The dressing
Mignonette is the classic choice here: a vinegar sauce flavoured with shallot and pepper that goes gangbusters with oysters. But there's also something to be said for ponzu, the Japanese sauce of soy, mirin and citrus. Or nuoc cham, Vietnam's lime, chilli, fish sauce and palm sugar dressing.
5. The prawns
Getting the very best wild-caught Australian prawns in good nick can be a challenge at Christmas; the safest bet for a platter is sourcing good frozen cooked prawns ahead and thawing them overnight in a colander in the crisper. Give them a quick rinse in salted water just before serving.
6. The lemons
If you were feeling really Martha Stewart you could wrap them in muslin to spare your guests the inconvenience of pips in their oysters. Limes are a nice addition here, as are blood limes or finger limes.
7. The clams
Add a bit of excitement to your platter with some clams, simply boiled in salted water till they pop open.
8. The oysters
There's no substitute for the freshness of an oyster shucked to order. Rock oysters from northern NSW are a good choice in summer; kept cool (ideally at about 14°C) and wrapped in a damp cloth, they'll hold unopened for at least a week. Don't seal them in plastic, immerse them in water or keep them on ice – it'll kill them.